20 years ago today, my life changed

On June 26th 2005, I boarded a flight that would change my life forever. My first memory of arriving in San Francisco is taking the BART to the East Bay. The Gay Pride Parade was taking place downtown, and although I didn’t see any of it underground, I knew I was meant to be there when I saw two girls in rainbow costumes getting on the train. I wrote about this experience exactly ten years ago on my old blog. However, the past ten years have given me an even greater perspective, which I would like to share with you.

My life had probably changed months before that date when I decided to do an internship in the U.S. In retrospect, I realize that as a 20-year-old from a low-income household with little family support, and the first in my family to attend college, I must have had great strength and courage. At the time, I wasn't even aware of how hard I had it. I funded a three-month unpaid internship in one of the world's most expensive cities myself.

That summer of 2005 was the first time I felt okay being myself. I wasn't anyone's daughter or sister, I was Lisa. I worked at a marketing agency with clients like Apple. Years after the dot-com crash and years before the next rise and fall of the tech bubble, San Francisco was the best place to live. Tech and innovation were everywhere, as were diversity and optimism. It was a time when we thought the Next President of the United States would save the planet. Kanye West said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," and made the cover of Time magazine (sadly, I lost this issue somewhere in the last two decades).

I lived on Treasure Island, located between San Francisco and Oakland. I slept on a mattress topper for $500 per month. I vividly remember commuting across the Bay Bridge every day, the view never got boring. I did my roommate’s MBA homework, and he got a B. I joined a gym for the first time. The salesperson there had a disability too, and for the first time, I felt like I was allowed to work out without being bullied. I met people who worked at Google and was amazed that they could afford boats. Their faces told me they thought I was either crazy or naive. I went on more dates in those four months than in the next 20 years combined. My other roommate called me a social butterfly.

Anyone who has met me in the past two decades knows that I would rather hide in bed than meet people. Recently, I’ve wondered when I lost my spark, courage, and strength. If I’m being perfectly honest, I think the summer of 2005 in San Francisco was the only time I ever really lived. When I moved back in 2013, it wasn’t the same and neither was I. I slowly realized that everyone else was a Stanford graduate or had family funding, and that I didn’t belong there. San Francisco was – and is – still beautiful, but it doesn't compare to the spirit of 2005.

I realize that I sound like I’m talking about the summer of 1968, but it was a pivotal time for more than just me. The image for this post is a screenshot from the Sony Bouncing Balls ad, which was filmed in San Francisco in the summer of 2005. When I visit San Francisco now, I usually cry my way through the streets, reminiscing about how my life would have turned out if that summer had never ended. But it did end. I’m just glad I got to experience those four months.

That summer completely changed my mindset, outlook on life, and brainwaves. That's what I'll keep forever. As the late Robin Williams said, "I can walk down the streets of San Francisco, and here I'm normal."

I hope you enjoy these more personal, somewhat random reflections. If you do, feel free to share them with friends or reach out. I'd love to hear from you.